Free

You know when you are truly free, when things don't seem to bother you as much as they used to.  When peoples actions that are less than desirable are basically unimportant to you.  You can easily forgive and smile when others try to get a reaction out of you.  Because you know that its not them who's attacking you but rather a darker influence that is effecting them to act that way.  It's hard to be angry with a victim whose acting out when you are in this free state of mind.

Imagine how many times Jesus forgave others, especially the group who were out to get him.  Did He smile at those doing wrong?  He didn't shake His finger at them for sinning?  Was He compassionate?  He didn't criticize or belittle people who were trapped in a lifestyle because He knew they were victims as well.

Psalm 10:14 "But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless".

The truth is, "it's easier to forgive others than to be forgiven by others"

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Independence

Depending on people is necessary in our professional and daily lives, but when it comes to emotions we can't depend on anyone.  Depending on people to make us happy or feel secure is a trap, a one way ticket to an addictive behaviour.  We need to be careful to not idolize people.

1 Thessalonians 4:12 says: so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.  We win respect by proving that we are independent enough to be a positive example to others.

Emotional dependency is something that keeps us from reaching our potential.  If we rely on others to make us emotionally complete then we are missing something; "an important part of me", that I can only find in someone else.  We are to learn the positive traits from others, not duplicate their every move.  The only way to know which traits we should copy is found in the Bible, and by hanging around with those who have a Godly walk.  Try inviting Jesus into your life and see what happens.

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Introspection

Some of us can barely even look at ourself in a mirror, let alone look at our inner thought processes.  Guilt and shame are the biggest factors that hold people back from a clean bill of mental health.  Knowing what you did, said, didn't do, or didn't say it when the time was right, can play a never ending tape of failure in your brain.  We envision grandiose story-lines of revenge, correction, or even just peaceful outcomes, none of which are true.  This is an anchor that prevents us from moving forward because at the end of that ever playing tape is the reality of our failure.  The way things are!

Acknowledging your mistakes and correcting them where you can is the only way out of that devilish cycle. Keeping in mind that some people don't want you to, or will use those weaknesses as a vehicle for their own advancement.  Don't worry about those kind of people but live in God's promise in

Hebrews 12:5 “My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects". MSG

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Inconsiderate

Is it something we do out of some sort of compulsion?  Is it deliberate, directed at someone or people in general?  Most likely it's because we are so focused on our own wants, desires, and needs that cause us to live in ways that hurt other people.  Basically we are oblivious to the hurt we cause.

Another side to this is that we are so overwhelmed with the weight of the world around us that causes us to live a entombed life.  We have enough of our own hurts so we just can't handle anymore.  It's a recoil from all our troubles that makes us choose a world free of external disturbance.

The 3rd side of this is that we may feel others inconsiderate behaviors when in reality none exist.  We just can't take rejection of any kind, so it's always someone else's fault that we feel the way we do.

Hebrews 12:14 tells us: Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

I think this means to give others a break.

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Deception

When you speak one way about your life, and live a very different way in private. Telling loved one's how much they mean to you, but then slipping off to a casual relationship with someone else you barely know. The focus being drugs, alcohol, sexual, or criminal.  It might even be for the quiet you receive trying to escape the realities of life.  Any way that you look at it, it's still deception.  The next morning, it's back to normal, living the straight life with the one you say you adore. 

The only time you'll stop deceiving is when the pain you create in others is finally greater than your own. Why do you think you can have it both ways?  There's plenty of verses condemning that type of behaviour, and a few speaking of blessings.


James 1:12, Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

So I guess depending on our behaviour we will receive more blessings or curses?

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Boundaries

 It's not easy receiving discipline, nor is it much fun giving it.  It's really only necessary when we reach a known boundary and pass it, knowing full well that there may be consequences.  Sometimes we may be naive enough to believe that it doesn't apply to us, but we realize it does after the fact.  Every stumble in an addictive life is us falling, jumping, crawling, walking, or running over a certain boundary that we keep repeating.  The discipline never changes and for some reason, neither does our thought patterns.  Why can't we just respect that boundary and live a happy life??  If we can't do it for us, then how about helping someone else out instead?  Because we will be held accountable for our actions when we get to Heaven.

Proverbs 10:17 "Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."

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Control

Most of us have been told to control ourself, in some shape or fashion, and that's usually out of concern for us looking like fools because our our actions.  Others because they act out in unacceptable fashion in innocent or criminal ways and have never been taught that growing up.

Some of us have never heard the word control because we were in a crowd of individuals who vehemently oppose control of every fashion.  It's funny but those people who oppose control are usually the biggest control freaks!!  Everything has to be their way or everyone is going to suffer.  Even if they did hear it, they would ignore it, but God way bigger plans than anything on earth as He said in Isaiah 65:1,
“I was found by those who did not seek me;
I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me.”

Maybe we just need to control our enthusiasm now?  

Why not start some new good clean habits today?

Do you have a question about your life, or a story to share? Email us at helpingmeheal@live.ca.
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